PROTOTYPE and why sometimes you just have to let go

The other weekend I finally had the opportunity to rent Prototype and was extremely disappointed with the game. I wound up taking it back to blockbuster after coming to terms with the reality that I couldn't get into the story and did not enjoy the gameplay. I was perfectly content to let that be the end of it, until I read this great article by ArsTechnica entitled "Why we quit," but now instead of returning it and never mentioning it again I'd like to point out the parts that I found frustrating. Maybe doing so will be therapeutic and I can rent Prototype again and give it a second chance, or maybe Infamous will finally be in and I can just play the superior version of the same game.

And maybe that's a good place to start, after playing just the demo of Infamous, no matter how often I tried to put Infamous out of my mind it was hard not to notice the similarities between the two. Infamous' lead character, Cole, is electric powered and the controls reflect this fluidity that you'd expect from a parkour delivery boy versus the barreling rhinoceros that is Prototype's lead, Alex. Everything about Alex is dumbed down and forced: the way he moves, his morality, even his dialogue. The only thing that has any finesse is the amazing cinematics that play when you kill someone in some of the most grotesque way imaginable.

Even the fun parts of this game aren't all that enjoyable. Killing people as horrifically as possible? Press one button and watch Alex have all the fun, or just do the same 3 button combo over and over. Quickly the funnest thing to do will be to grab random people off the street run up the side of the tallest building nearby and see how far you can throw them, but even this can be ruined when Alex has some problem with curved walls or even running straight. OK, maybe I was just being OCD, but I wanted to stand at the very top of the Empire State Building and every time i got up to the spire near the top Alex would do a backflip off the building and crush my dreams.

Well maybe I'll enjoy completing some of those missions that will unlock more of that story I don't care about...think again. The game opens with you playing as a god basically, you have all your powers and get to wreak havoc toward some checkpoints, until they send you to where the story began(you know, that boring part where you don't have all your awesome powers). The missions might be fun for a minute but let me explain what I recall of the few that made me quit.

1.Somehow I unleashed these "Hunters" and while they we're killed in 3 hits when you were all powerful they can now obliterate you, easily. Then you realize that the game would like for you to kill 20 of these hunters before it lets you move on.

2.There are some infected water towers that I need to get DNA from but if i get to close to them they explode and unleash hunters. I somehow missed that they'd explode if I got to close (one of the perils of having and SD tv, is that many games have text to small for anything other than HD) so I get bored and spend an hour or so karate kicking helicopters tell I get bored of that and try to figure out the water towers again.

3.I have to destroy some military patrols before they find my hideout. Alright, destroyed 7 patrol groups and then I die and get sent all the way back to the beginning?! Is this not the year 2009? Do modern games not have check points? I get that some people might enjoy this part or you might have needed to include it to extend gameplay but not providing a few more checkpoints turns something that might be enjoyable into an unnecessary grind.

There are things to enjoy about Prototype although it mainly seems to be mindless fun which isn't enough when Infamous is on the shelf right next to it. Alas, maybe I'm asking to much of Prototype. Penny Arcade seemed to enjoy it (I've embedded the comic below but here is a link too).

REVIEW: G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra

I did manage to catch GI JOE on opening weekend and I personally enjoined it although it has gotten negative reviews from a few of my favorite critics(TV without Pity, Topless Robot, and Roger Ebert). It seems the general consensus is that GI JOE is better than Transformers 2 and after seeing both that is an easy argument to make. The movie is paced well and doesn't have any significantly distracting plot holes, except at the end when ice apparently no longer floats, which may be because it is so packed with action you're never really given a moment to try and process anything you've seen. The biggest flaw I found was that the movie peaks a bit early with the coolest action sequence taking place early in the film and afterward all the other scenes seem far less epic even though the stakes are supposedly greater.

I could try and nit-pick all of the minor things that were wrong, but I honestly didn't notice them while watching the movie so it seems unfair for me to do so, luckily Topless Robot already has and it makes for a great and hilarious read. GI JOE is one of the better blockbuster action movies of the summer, although that may be mostly because of how horrible Transformers and Wolverine were, I'd definitely recommend it for a family or just a fun popcorn flick. There is also a lot of potential for the sequel to be great, there might be a new director and maybe now that they've gotten the backstory out of the way GI JOE2 can feature the full JOE Vs. COBRA battle we all wanted to see.

All that and you're still not sure If you want to see GI JOE? We'll watch this video from Funny or Die, it's just as star-studded and way more awesome.

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

REVIEW: "Funny People"

It would be unfair to say "Funny People" is a misnomer, it certainly does star plenty of great comedians but the movie is a drama and a long one at that. My first two thoughts after catching the flick on Sunday was "How long was that?" to which the answer is around 3 hours, and "Wow that second half was depressing." That being said, I did enjoy the movie and although I probably wouldn't sit through it at a theater again I would definitely by the DVD (especially if the include some of the stand-up footage they shot with all the actors).

I'd like to watch the movie again on DVD if only to see how long the different parts are. The first 3rd of the movie is spent establishing the main characters in their home lives and their professional careers, which while great flies by. Next thing I know I'm in love with Seth Rogen again and oddly enough finding Adam Sandler funny again (TV without Pity had a great review that mentions the same). Its sad that the first phase goes by so quickly but it does effectively set up the rest of the film, I've learned to love these two characters and am ready to journey into the realms of death and awkward middle aged love with them.

I recalled a quote from High School "In the end if the main character dies its a tragedy, and if he lives its a comedy;" this film stays somewhere between the two occasionally shifting from side to side. Listening to Judd Apatow in interview on the late night talkshow circuit and on The Daily Show, its clear that his movies are meant to tackle serious life problems with comedy so that it might be easier to understand and accept. The movie is peppered with enough cock jokes and awkward moments to keep the serious parts from being too much, and is grounded in realism enough to make it easy to relate to what the characters are going through.

As long as you go in knowing you won't be laughing the whole time, and are prepared for some serious talks about mortality then you'll have a good time. If you're a big comedy fan, you can watch and try and name all the cameos that pop up.

I also have this movie to thank for introducing me to Aubrey Plaza (because she was basically mute in Parks & Rec, and awesome in this) and also loved seeing the RZA acting again although I wish he was in it more.

Auto Tune the News 7

Another hit from the Gregory Brothers. I could listen to autotuned Katie Couric all day, and I love the end chorus they made with her sample. Although, I am forced to ask "How many pairs of glasses can one woman wear?"