DVD: 2012

Watching 2012 reminded me a lot of when I first saw "The Final Destination," it was a fun experience but little more than elaborate misfortunes. To be honest I didn't really watch 2012 while it was on, I was at my computer reading the news and browsing Google Reader and looking up every 15 minutes or so to watch the huge disaster sequences. After a certain point with the "Final Destination" series they just became vehicles for delivering elaborate and gruesome deaths and they were good and fun for that, the "Saw" series took it to the next level being referred to as torture-porn, which leads to 2012 where the destructive sections are the best part and the rest of the story just moves us between them. I'm totally okay with that too, there are so many good movies that deal with the evolution of humanity pre/post armageddon, so there is nothing wrong with just having fun watching the world get destroyed.

The sad part is that while the big destructive sequences in 2012 are fun, I felt like they paled in comparison to the CGI effects of "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" which (spoiler alert) has a huge armageddon-esque sequence towards the end of it. I'm curious if I felt that way because 2012 is trying to blend these CGI effects into a real world, whereas Cloudy is a completely fictional and cartoon-ish world which lessens the burden of the designers. 2012 has to be intriguing without losing believability, a million little details go in to every explosion and earthquake, and while it tries to do so I don't thing the effects are all that believable.

The story is pretty much barely held together and you don't actually find yourself caring for any of the characters because they are so ineffectually written but no one is watching this movie for those things anyway. Watching the world get destroyed is fun but honestly I'd recommend you spend your time watching any one of the hundreds of good post-apocalyptic movies (*cough* Zombieland *cough*).

***SPOILER ALERT***
Humanity survives...crazy right? Never would've seen that coming. Actually, I just wanted to give two specific examples about how stupid these characters are.

When we first meet the kids John Cusack's character is informed that his 7 year old daughter still wets the bed, as if his ignorance proves he's a bad father. Not a big deal but towards the end of the movie the last thing this littler girl says about the whole experience is "No more pull-ups" or something to the affect that after having spent 2hours having the shit scared out of her as the world ended she has overcome her bed wetting problem. Wouldn't all that horrible stuff make it worse?

Also there is a point where John Cusack supposedly dies, or you're supposed to think he did, and I personally didn't care at all. Maybe it has little impact because it happens so early in the film you ask? Well simply put NO, because it happens again towards the end and I still don't care about him at all.

The 2012 Drinking Game
Wait your still trying to watch this movie? Well at least have some fun with it...

Imminent Danger-Take a sip of beer every time the characters are suddenly in peril.
          You should be buzzed by the end of the first disaster sequence.
Fuck Darwin - Take a shot each time a character dies who should have survived in any other scenario. Take another shot if their death is sacrificial. And yet another shot if that death is even somewhat ironic.
          Woody Harrelson sacrificing himself to the volcano. Ironic because he loved nature. 2 shots
          Sasha sacrificing himself to land the plane. Smart pilot who should have otherwise lived.
                    Ironic because he thought he was safe. 3 shots
          How does President Danny Glover not survive? Oh he sacrifices his safety for his people, and then is
                    ironically crushed by the JFK aircraft carrier. 3 shots
          The greedy Russian dad who sacrifices his life to save his sons. Ironic because he dies in a selfless act
                    after leading such a selfish life. 2 shots
This plot makes no sense - Take a drink of beer every time there is some detail that only barely makes any sense whatsoever in the context of anything.
         Going camping in a limousine?
         A 7 year old wetting the bed matters why?
         Any of the sub plot with physicist Adrian, which has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie.
         Woody Harrelson happens to have a powerpoint queued up that explains everything that's going on?
         The doctor is also a pilot?
         An airplane full of cars?
         And so on and so forth, anything that if you think about for 5 seconds you easily realize is just bad writing meant only to move the story from one CGI scene to the next.

So, that's a pretty simple game. And it should get you sufficiently drunk The Darwin rule alone should have you blacking out before the credits roll, which would probably be for the best.

Editor's note: 2012 Drinking Game added on 3/13/10

DVD: A Serious Man

 

Excuse my language, but fucking shit this movie is good. Theatrically released in late 2009, I feel bad that I only recently saw this movie on DVD (the release date of which was Feb. 9th) because if I had seen it in '09 this would have easily been on my list of top 10 movies of the year. Anyway, the film follows Larry Gopnik and his family as they go through some transitions in life that have Larry looking for an answer that his religious leaders seem reluctant (or unable) to give. Though most of the story centers around Larry's family and work troubles, we also see some of the smaller issues of his son Danny. Larry's plight had me thinking that he is a somewhat pathetic man, that if he would just stop being so polite and demand what seemed to be rightfully his then his problems would dissipate. Unfortunately with religion, and maybe Judaism specifically (I don't really know), its not that simple and so Larry looks to his religious leaders for guidance and that's where I found some of the best laughs in the film. For a movie that starts so slow, it is important that a viewer be emotionally invested in a protagonist. I think the Coens were successful with Larry, his frustrations were mine; I laughed (maniacally) as misfortune fell on those behind some of his troubles. Danny's portions tend to be more lighthearted and trivial but have the tendency to be equally hilarious, for example Danny getting high at his bar mitzvah is another comedic high point of the film.  It's interesting how much the two characters situations complement each other, continuing with the bar mitzvah example the scene has added hilarity thanks to the way it was shot being borrowed from an earlier scene where Larry gets high. I'm trying to avoid using specific details in this review because I think it would make the film sound mundane and boring, but somehow its not despite being about things that many people deal with in their lifetime. This is definitely a must watch and if you don't find yourself instantly attached to Larry like I was, have some patience because once the film gets going you will become invested in this serious man.

DVD: Black Dynamite

If that trailer doesn't sell you on Black Dynamite then I'm not sure what I can say to persuade you to watch this hilariously awesome kung fu blaxploitation satire.  Its really just a fun movie to watch with plenty of laugh out loud moments. Some of my favorite moments are the on purpose accident scattered throughout, but the absurdity of the plot is the films greatest ally and worst enemy. The whole story moves pretty fast and builds in size to the point where in the final scene I was tired of the shtick, but I still enjoyed the experience overall. Michael Jai White says in the extras that they made the original trailer and had random quotes written for it, so that when the movie got picked up they had to write the story around all these quotes that had no context. Knowing that, it makes sense that the story is so convoluted. If you're willing to be taken on a crazy ride with some good kung fu and better laughs Black Dynamite makes for a good night of movie watching. It would probably be an excellent movie for a drinking game, I'm thinking take a sip of beer every time a character uses 70's lingo and a shot whenever an on purpose mistake occurs.

In theaters: SHUTTER ISLAND

Shutter Island left me perturbed as I exited the theater earlier this week. It was a great movie and yet something didn't quite feel right. I went through a list of why I thought it was a good movie; Martin Scorsese's direction was excellent, the cinematography was beautiful, and nearly every actor was superb (I especially enjoyed Jackie Earle Haley's brief performance).  Shutter Island is a good movie and I'd easily recommend it, I'd probably even buy a copy (if it was on sale, but only because I'm cheap). Ultimately it was the story that bothered me, its well written but I'm just not sure how much I like it. Without spoiling the movie all I can say is its good, go see it and you decide how good it is.

**SPOILERS BELOW**
So here's the thing, I never knew what to expect from this movie story wise. Sure you know its going to be good, Scorsese and Dicaprio are a proven team thanks to Departed, but I kept hearing this movie described as a horror film or a psych thriller. It tries to be a scary movie for the first 2/3rd of the film, what with its overly dramatic score that builds suspense every 5 minutes like that's its sole purpose, but nothing scary ever really happens.At that point, with a 1/3 of the movie left, the plot twist occurs transforming the film into a psych thriller. For whatever reason that felt cheap to me, I liked the story we were being lead on for those first 2/3rds and wanted that to continue and while the story takes an interesting twist I don't know that it was for the better. The twist reminded me of Identity except there it occurred at the very end and provided answers to an otherwise puzzling experience, here it just creates more questions and for me that's why it doesn't work. After the twist I wasn't sure about what I had just spend 2/3rds of the movie watching, I guess that's also why it works; now given what I know I want to see Shutter Island again.